The Projector Movement Blog

How To Survive The Holiday Season As A Projector

Dec 08, 2022

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Today, we thought it would be worthwhile to discuss what can sometimes be a stressful time for everybody, let alone Projectors, which is the holiday season. As you know, this is a time when stress levels are high and expectations are high. We have dinners and events with family and friends. Our Projector system can be quite overrun, quite overtaxed and we wanted to come forth today and just share with some tips that can help you stay in greater alignment during the most wonderful time of the year.

I would say ultimately as Projectors we're quite sensitive and we take in a lot from our environment. So coming up to the holiday season, there's a lot to take in, and perhaps in the past we've taken in maybe more than what was respectable for our system. Therefore, I'm excited to share these tips with you to support Projectors moving into the holiday season. Some Projectors will be feeling a bit of anxiety, and some will be feeling like I've just gotta get through this. So ideally, this season is a season of joy and love. We're excited to share these tips to support that process. So here are six tips for Projectors during the holiday season.


Taking a Pause

Let's begin with tip number one. Many of you have probably heard me talk about the pause or pausing. Let's say your day is like a music song and if you pause the song, you pause the energy of the day. So you could be reading a book, washing the dishes, watching TV, whatever it is. Rather than running from one thing to the next, you stop and pause and this is something that allows the nervous system to come back to itself because our energy as Projectors, our aura is designed to go outward so we can guide our environment. Sometimes that's a bit of a catch because we can get stuck. It's like we're velcro and we get stuck on the outside and we forget to take the velcro off a situation or off another person, and we bring it back onto ourselves. So the pause is a necessity to bring yourself back home. An example of this would be if you're at a holiday gathering, you've been there for 90 minutes and you've talked to five different people. You say I'm actually gonna go to the bathroom, you remove yourself and even if you don't need to go to the bathroom, you just go there for five minutes, you breathe, or you go for a walk around the block and come back to yourself. It sounds simple but it's quite challenging for us Projectors and our nervous system to do that when we're outside.

Remember that during the holiday season, we're absorbing everyone else's heightened nervous system as well. So if you naturally are already taking pauses throughout the day, we suggest doubling the number of pauses for this upcoming season because we're absorbing everyone else's heightened energy as well. This tip is really useful and it's harder than it sounds, especially when you're pulled into that excitable or stressful energy, it can be hard to just stop it in the moment. So we invite you to try it.

 brown wooden blocks on white surface


Setting Your Boundaries

The next tip this is one of my favorite topics to talk about, which is boundaries and boundaries can be interpreted in many ways. But for the sake of this topic we're going to be talking about it in the sense of being able to assess a time that you're going to be at places, it gives you a more relaxed experience if you know you committed to an event, perhaps for an hour and a half versus the whole night. So in terms of boundaries, know that you can stay at places for as long as you want and if you're noticing yourself becoming more stimulated or feeling stressed, give yourself that permission to leave. This one is so important for us. We can get hooked into the event and feel so excited to be there or if we feel so triggered because there are family members around that we're stressed out about and this is not typically supportive for the Projector's nature. So again, the second tip is to commit to events and only commit to a certain time frame. 

Saying "NO"

We’ll go right into the next one because this is also one of the biggest boundaries that we can implement. The third tip is to say NO, which is not the best boundary we Projectors have because when we say no to someone else, we are saying yes to ourselves and our needs and that's an area that Projectors have a more difficult time typically expressing their own needs and desires. If you get invited to a holiday event and it starts to make you feel stressed, perhaps you say no. I know that can feel hard but I implore you to try to say NO more than you're comfortable with this holiday season and watch the health of your Projector system flourish. So if you are starting to feel stressed, that is your biggest invitation to say no or to give a very specific time increment of how long you will engage in that situation. Because when we are stressed, we are depleting ourselves 20 times quicker than any of the other types. 

Most Projectors hardly ever say no and it's something that I feel like we all need to stand up for and stand up for the aspect of ourselves that is a younger-self, and maybe didn't have the opportunity to say no as a three-year-old as a four-year-old. It's been a deep experience for me as I've experienced those aspects going back to younger aspects of myself and realizing that, I didn't feel like I could ever actually say that. So how does my now adult self still carry that younger aspect? It still doesn't feel like I can say no because that's just inbuilt into my system. We need to do that and go above and beyond what you think because it'll be probably still less than what your system wants. You might feel like, well, I'm saying no so much. But it's just you standing up for yourself. There are many reasons Projectors have a hard time saying no and one of them is that we feel the other person's disappointment. It's our Projector nature to feel that and a lot of us have been naturally conditioned by life to then fix that feeling in the other person. I just want to say, that someone else's uncomfortable feelings are not your responsibility to tend to and if someone is hurt or pushing back, is upset that you're saying no, that's between them and their own emotions. Just know that it may be uncomfortable, it doesn't feel good for us naturally to let people down. Don't let that uncomfortable feeling that you'll get initially stop you from implementing that NO. 

Why Saying No to Someone Else Can Be a Yes for You | Wholebeing Institute 

The Projector Functional Range

Number four is our functional range and this is referring to the nervous system's functional range. When we're inside this range, we often feel decently relaxed, engaged, grounded, and socially open and it doesn't mean we need to be socially over the top but there's just an ability to be social. This means our nervous system is in its range. Because we're overly sensitive and we absorb a lot of things, so a lot of the Projector's range is very small and will be outside that range a lot which will lead to burn out. That then stresses your system and you will start feeling yourself doing anxiety. We need to notice when we're inside or when we're outside of that range coming into the holiday season. When we are outside of our range the number one goal as Projectors is working deeply with the nervous system to move back inside our functional range. So theres a couple of simple things I can do to bring myself back, we can employ the pause, we can do a boundary, we can say no, we can go and touch our feet on the ground, all these things can slowly pull us back. You'll notice yourself landing back in your body. This is important because most Projectors don't even know when they're outside of their functional range. Then they speak from that place, they take action from that place, and that puts them even further outside of their functional range and many might be out for days, weeks, months, or years.


Perfectionism and People Pleasing 

We’ve been studying various states that Projectors do that put our bodies into dysregulation, and the two biggest ones that are going to appear for all of us Projectors in the holiday season is perfectionism or people pleasing. These are two states that we're going to introduce more in detail later. But I wanted to just plant that seed that if you see yourself trying to make everything perfect, or you're seeing yourself trying to take care of everyone else's needs. That is a huge warning sign that you're operating from a dysregulated place and that those states are a byproduct of a fear response. I want you to take a look and notice that during the season, you start to see yourself trying to make everything perfect. We need to stop that and if we're going into a total people-pleasing mode that is going to throw us out of that functional range.

This will be confusing for many Projectors as they've done these states of people pleasing or perfectionism their whole life. You start to believe that state is natural and what you are suppose to do. But the deconditioning process is a big part of that disentangling these nervous system patterns that are deeply embedded because we've absorbed so much from actually what is our full truth, what is our soul's unfolding and that can be a very interesting journey. This holiday is also for you to take time to refuel and recharge. So you can move into 2023 more grounded, more in alignment than ever before. 


Embodying The Essence of Play

As Projectors it is important to embody the essence of play through the holiday season, even if it's you playing with a favorite old toy, or if it's you playing with your nieces and nephews or grandkids or children that you remember that's ultimately your birthright to play. This is a beautiful time of year to call in that frequency of joy and play. If you are of the group that is going to be more social, going to work events, family events, friend events, these sorts of things. Tip to the wise, pull your energy back in these places if you want to truly be seen. If you're coming in telling everybody about this and that, this is when we tend to burn a lot of energy and a lot of people aren't receiving us in the way we want to be received. This is a beautiful time to sit back and relax in the chair and let the conversations come towards you. Let your inner Projector nature radiate out.

We just want to normalize this high-stress season, we are going to go over our max and it's okay. When you go to an event, maybe re-read this again and remind yourself to implement all these tips. Because we do need to continually remind ourselves how to move more and more into alignment. That's all from us, have a beautiful rest of the day wherever you are.

 two women enjoying confetti

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