In this blog I want to share both the challenges and ways we can begin to own our projector energy, accept ourselves and shine our uniqueness out into the world.
Let’s first chat about our open centres and how we can become very conditioned in them. I feel like the word ‘conditioning’ is starting to carry a really heavy energy and it can be something else we add to our list of things to avoid. Which can lead to us restricting ourselves because we think that wherever we go, we will be conditioned.
I’m using the word ‘conditioning’ with this meaning:
Where we have picked up beliefs/thoughts/habits/dreams/tendencies of others and have taken them on as our own without question.
When we have an awareness of HOW this can occur, we can strengthen our connection to ourselves and realise that we don’t have to blindly take on anything from anyone else. Is it easy getting to that place? Not always, at least not when we first become aware of it, but it doesn’t have to be heavy.
It’s Aimee here from The Projector Movement and this is a topic I’ve been pondering for a while now. This is where I love to use my defined Ajna to make sense of something that can sometimes be hard to grasp. I’m a 3/5 Emotional Projector with the Right Angle Cross of Explanation (4). In a nutshell, my Incarnation Cross is all about me explaining that which is important and bringing it to the light. So this is a perfect way to get that ball rolling!
Projectors are often the most conditioned type because of our openness and sensitivity, we’ve likely spent a large majority of our lives subconsciously denying who we truly are. I know that this is definitely the case for myself. This can come from conditioning and not actually knowing ourselves at a core level, it can come from hiding ourselves away because we know we are different, but we’re too terrified to own it.
We can also condition others, this isn’t something to worry about, just to be aware of.
Side note: ‘Open’ centre refers to a centre that has no gates activated in it, whereas an undefined centre refers to a centre that has gates activated but isn’t connected to another centre via a channel.
My head centre is open (no gates), whereas my identity centre is undefined (has gates, but not connected to another centre via a channel)
What’s the difference you ask? When a centre is open, there is no ‘filter’ there, things can just flood in. When it’s undefined, the gate(s) coming off that undefined centre can act as a filter (or an amplifier) and the energy you feel in this centre can be the energy of that particular gate(s).
Here’s a few things we may feel in each centre when we are conditioned and our true selves are nowhere to be seen:
We can take on everyone else's questions here and think they are our own. Our mind is on overdrive and we feel detached from our bodies. Our mind is telling us that it’s not safe to be ourselves, thus we just keep going and going mindlessly. We overthink everything and push against seeking inspiration. Lots of self doubt circulates through our thoughts.
We are constantly pulled in different directions, believing everyone else's opinions of how we ‘should’ be living. In one moment we think one thing, then in the same breath we believe the exact opposite. Never knowing what our truth is and therefore we always feel ungrounded and unsure of what to think.
We often feel invisible and unheard. We know we’re speaking but end up wondering if there’s actually any sound coming out? We’re unaware that we’re only speaking so someone will pay attention to us. Blurting out words that have no value because we’re sick of being ignored. This makes us wonder what the point is and that no one will ever want to listen to what we have to say.
Constantly seeking out our purpose. Questioning WHY we don’t know who we are. Stuck on a loop of trying to find something to cling on to that will act as an anchor so that we feel solidified and fixed, like we only deserve to belong if we have an inner knowing of who we are and where we are going.
Never believing we are good enough. Constant doubt. We then overcompensate by over promising and under delivering, which leads to sub par outcomes and disappointed family/friends/colleagues. This is a cycle that can run on repeat if we let it.
Open/Undefined Solar Plexus:
Over dramatises situations, picks fights, suppresses emotions and lets them explode due to being fearful of expressing them gently in the first place. Fearful of confrontation, which leads to avoidance and creates bitterness within us.
Feels under constant pressure to work/get things done. This leads to exhaustion and crossed boundaries. We feel trampled here but still maintain that we can handle the pressure, which will lead to burn out soon enough.
Can find comfort in the stagnation of life due to being ruled by the perceived fears of the spleen. (Not good enough, fear of repeating the past, fear of authority, fear of purposelessness, fear that there aren't enough resources for everyone, fear of taking responsibility for anyone but ourselves). This leads to risk aversion and leaves you feeling stuck. We can very easily cling on to believing that if we let these fears go, something even worse will take their place. We don’t make room for the light to come in and new opportunities to open up.
Taking on the ‘go, go, go’ mentality from everyone around us and believing that is how we operate. Long days, few breaks, high intensity regimes, believing we don’t have to stop, that it’s not okay to stop as there is always something to do.
From the above centres, the Sacral conditioning is the biggest one of all for Projectors! No Projectors have the sacral defined (but can have any or all of the other centres defined). 70% of the population have their sacral defined, so of course that has a massive impact on us as Projectors. We have likely grown up around someone (or multiple people) who have their sacral centres defined.
Be it parents/grandparents/siblings/teachers/friends/colleagues/random people everywhere! My Mum is a Manifesting Generator with all centres defined! All of them!!
Can you see how the conditioning in these centres can very easily lead us away from our truth?
From who we truly are? Maybe you’re reading this thinking ‘I have NO IDEA who I truly am?!’ This is okay. I’m here to guide you through it as I’ve been there many times myself. This can also be a constant question we ask ourselves when our Identity Centre is open/undefined. I speak from experience here as my Identity centre is undefined.
Something I love to do, to figure out if I’m clinging onto someone else's version or way of life, (instead of letting myself be inspired from it and not feel consumed by it) is to watch a movie or spend time in the world of someone I’m drawn to. I notice how I’m viewing life beforehand and then I take some time after I’ve finished the movie to check in with my identity centre and see if all of a sudden I’m wanting a complete change. I know that if I’m wanting a complete change in that moment, that I've taken on a lot of the person/people I’ve been drawn to in the movie. This could be anything from wanting the career they have, to moving country, to living a completely different lifestyle. I now know that when this happens, to be aware that I’ve very easily taken on someone else's identity and to do something that brings ME joy. A walk in nature, time in the kitchen, a hot shower. Something that anchors me back to me and of course, I honour my emotional authority here. Goodness me this has saved me a lot of life upheavals over the last year!!
It can seem like a big, daunting task to start from scratch and find out who we are. What if I told you that it’s not so much about learning as it is unlearning? That it’s allowed to be a work in progress and that we can take it one layer at a time. Human Design is a wonderful, life long experiment and we uncover each part of it’s magical, deep layers exactly when we need to.
It can be easy to go into overdrive and try and learn everything there is to know about our own charts in a short space of time, but truth be told, that doesn’t really help. Human Design is complex (just as we are as human beings) and our layers are revealed to us in perfect timing.
I could go deeper here and bring up the fact that conditioning doesn’t just start with our generation, it can go back many generations. So what can end up happening is no one is really moving through life as themselves and this just continues to happen.
This is where Human Design is so incredibly powerful, as it allows us to see who we were truly born as. Our charts are a snapshot of the sky at the moment of our birth (and 3 months prior) and when we choose to move through life learning about ourselves through this modality and using it as a guide (not a rule book!) We not only have the opportunity to flourish as ourselves, but we are leading the way for others who are born into this world right now to move through life as who they were born as.
It wasn’t until I found Human Design that I had a real understanding of who I was and how I’d been living a life that was almost opposite to my design. The lightbulb moments started flooding in!
It’s important to mention that for all of the conditioning we can feel in our open centres as mentioned above, that we can also feel like that in our defined centres if we are out of alignment. More on our defined centres in another blog coming soon!
With knowing a few ins and outs of how our open/undefined centres work, we can begin to put the puzzle pieces together and perhaps see why we feel that it’s not okay to be who we truly are as Projectors.
We speak about this often here at The Projector Movement, the fact that right now, the world isn’t set up for Projectors. We live in a Generator world. I don’t say this with bitterness, I love the Generators in my life. Without them, things just wouldn’t work. Same as for any type! We are all important pieces of the puzzle.
So, what would it look like to start to own our Projector essence? Here are a few scenarios:
Stepping outside of the box can at first be difficult for a Projector. We cop all sorts of projections for doing so. We get questioned as to WHY we would choose to do things so differently. We can be constantly misunderstood and this is enough for some people to retreat straight back to the Generator way of life just to fit in, to ignore the conditioning we are aware of.
All the while, we are frustrated that life doesn’t flow when we live like this but it seems too hard to break free. Being different just doesn’t seem to sit well with others, usually because they are so heavily conditioned to ‘follow the most popular way of life’ and would never dream of changing things out of fear.
Let’s recap on how we can start to step into our Projector essence and shine our uniqueness out into the world:
We want to move into a space where we are loving ourselves at our Projector core whilst also loving how the openness in our centres can allow us to move, morph and dance around with light feet.
In the next edition of this blog, we’ll explore the defined centres and how we can strengthen them. Marrying the two energies of undefined/defined together and how that can fortify us even more as Projectors on our journey of self discovery, embodiment and remembering.
If you are feeling called to really settle into some deconditioning work, we have a wonderful Deconditioning Course available at The Projector Movement and having journeyed through it myself, I can say how transformative it truly is. I’d recommend it to anyone that is ready to dive deeper and start peeling back those layers. You can find out more about the course by clicking here.
Until next time fellow Projectors,